everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
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I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
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Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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