I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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