There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
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I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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