You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
