My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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