Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
