sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
