oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Randomize
