3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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