Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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