No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize