i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
