dude i'm inner monologue high
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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