It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
