I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize