I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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