Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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