I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
