you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
