You really coming over, don't trick.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
