Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
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I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Randomize