Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
thus making me awesome and them whores
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
