hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize
