Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
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