weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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