Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
