Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
