I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
