who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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