My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
