i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Actions speak louder than pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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