why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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