whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i will never coherently bang her
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
