There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
