Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
