belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
