If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
