i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
