margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
