I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
