I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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