The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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