Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
