I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
