giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
