their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
