"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
either way he was missing a nipple.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
