I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
