Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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