I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
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