Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
My vagina is officially offended.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
