I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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