Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
