how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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