i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
