peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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