finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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