She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
The feeling are messing with the penis
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
