I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
