dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
