Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize