So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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