He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
