I accidentally burped into my bong.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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