lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
