the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
