did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
pop tarts are not kleenex
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
