last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
A+ Viking dick
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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