I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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