Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
