Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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