she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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